As I begin my third season in the multisport life, there are a number of odd and sometimes ironic I've noticed. Maybe you've noticed some of these too.
1. Can't stay awake in the daytime? Can't stay asleep when you're in bed? You might be a triathlete and you're probably a bit overtrained.
2. Locker rooms? Full of ironies. Men? Not exactly designed for aesthetic appeal. Women? Aesthetic masterpieces. And yet the girly locker room has (I am told) a separate dressing room for each shower, while the men's locker room is full of random, undesired, communal nakedness.
3. More on locker rooms? Plush locker rooms with puffy white towels. And yet the former athletes can't manage to put one around the waist and privatize the junk. Why do I say former athletes? Another irony. The inverse relationship between aesthetic merit and clothing.
Translation: the higher the BMI and the more body hair on a person, the more likely it is they will be buck naked. (This rule apparently holds true in locker rooms, on beaches, wild parties . . . .)
4. I have more gym bags than days of the week, my own locker, and the best locker room in town. So why is my car turning into a locker room complete with dirty socks, discarded clothing, bike helmet, shoes, bike, swim gear . . . and yet I'm a neat freak in the gym locker room.
5. Cars? More oddities. Are you unable to carry a small child in your car? They're not allowed to sit in the front seat because of the airbag. They can't sit in the back because the seats are folded down to transport your bike.
6. And Irony. Why is it that the more fit you are, the more crippled you feel getting up out of a car after a long drive? Do you look forward to a six hour bike and dread a six hour drive? You swim bike and run for 13 or 14 hours and yet would rather have your teeth drilled than be in the car for that long?
If your life is this odd or ironic, you're probably a triathlete.
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